The Sound of Silence

I'm forgiving.
I've always been the better person.
I always work a little bit harder,
Push a little bit stronger.
I put in endless hours of effort.
But you.
You act like you're better than me.
You act like you're worth more than me.
Where the HELL do you get off.
You're not me.
You're nothing like me.
You can't control me.
I never back down without a fight.
And this time is NO different.
But I'm giving up on you.
Because you were never worth my time.
The endless hours and days and years that I put into our friendship.
I'm sorry, but the only thing left to say...
is goodbye.
I'm done with your overdramatic bullshit.
So fuck you.
Goodbye.

I'm young and scared
But at least I can pretend I know what I want.
I'm single,
Lonely,
But at least that means I can have who I want.
There's a sense of entitlement
Instant gratification. Yeah, That's me.

I like to get what I want when I get it.
But I can wait
I know how to be patient
Maybe I'm not like the youth of the generation.

I may be scared.
I have no clue what I want to do.
I maybe lonely and single,
But I'm waiting for the right person.

And even though people say
"You'll never get far as a writer"
I know I will

Some days I work so hard.
Others, I just want to give up.
Where did my will go?
Did I lose it,
Somewhere around the time
Everything went wrong?

Some scatterbrained wanderlust?
Or is it something more.
Some itch I need to scratch
Beneath this bleeding heart of mine.

I'm not missing you.
I'm not missing anybody.
I guess I've just decided to let go.
And I guess that's not the worst that could happen.

just a note to you who read.
I probably won't be around for another long spell.
I'm just....getting a really bad inadequacy complex. and....
yeah

It seems that when I'm alone,
All my flaws are laid out
raw,
twisted.
I feel like I'm inadequate,
imperfect.
A mistake.

SAD. It's an acronym
for
Seasonal
Affective
Disorder.

Which I think I suffer from.
I've thought this for a while.
Even my mom thinks it.
As soon as the weather turns shitty
I feel shitty.
Like now.
And I know. I'm a horrible person. I haven't blogged in forever
PLEASE DON'T HATE ME. I'M SO SORRY.
Because...just
ugh.
I've felt shitty except on sunshine-y days
and today is not one,
so excuse me while I go wallow in shitty feelings