The Sound of Silence

You know who you are if you're reading this;

Goodbye. How I wish I could say this to you, to free my heart, to be able to rid my heart of fear. Because love includes fear, and for me, love is fear. Sometimes we have to remember the simplicity of love and fear. Fear accelerates us, sometimes in the direction we don't want to go. I know that's happened to me. The night falls though, and as I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, I don't know what I want. I sit, watching people throw their lives away, watching people try to fall in love, while I sit here hoping maybe my affection will be returned, maybe someone will be there to break that fear I have of being loved. I wish I didn't feel so lonely  when it finally hit me that you weren't around, because I wish you were with me. When you flirted with someone, I felt strangled. That's why I walked away whenever you were with her, but you didn't notice. You didn't notice me until we flirted or you chased after me trying to find out what was wrong, or when you showed me new music. You never noticed when I studied you from the corners of my eyes. You didn't notice that you made me nostalogic and sad, and that whenever you wrapped your arms around me it felt right. I thought there was hope for us, but I was wrong. I wake up to blinding sunlight every morning, and it still makes me think of the brief times when you smile. But I'm done, there's no way this jealousy and tiredness can go on forever. Goodbye, I've moved on
Little_red

It should be illegal for you to be so amazing
It should be illegal for you to be so attractive.
It should be illegal for you to be funny,
and it should be illegal that I want to bend over backwards for you.
It should be illegal for you not to like me,
It should be illegal for you not to kiss me,
It should be illegal for us not to sing together.
It should be illegal for us to not touch hands more often,
It should be illegal for you not to laugh at me and with me
It should be illegal that you make me have so much fun.

I call you a trap,
yeah that's right,
that's what you are.

At least to me.
Everytime I see you
after I've convinced myself I don't care,
You convince me otherwise.

You prey on an unsuspecting female,
me.

And really,
Do you like me?
I have no clue...
None at all.
Way to sneak up on me.

You always catch me unawares,
catch me in your blue eyed stare,
wow...

It should be illegal for your eyes to be that blue,
It should be illegal for your body to look that good,
It should be illegal for me to want you like I do....

you're a trap.
And i'm the fly

So today was nice. I had a major flirtfest with guy friend whom I like kinda who has rejected me once already. It's really hard to tell if he's changed his mind or something. Also, my friend and I avoided another guy that my friend did some pretty shady stuff with. And my dog ran away. I also have a chemistry (AHHH RUN AWAY) test tomorrow, but i'm sure I'll be okay. And to top it all off, only three more days of school this week.
What a random day

I can feel it, the darkness  beneath my skin
clawing, twisting, turning inside,
begging to  be let free.
Darkness lashes at the corners of my mind,
trying to capture my heart inside.

The demon lingers in my skin, screaming, squirming, strained within
oozing from my pores.
I clench sharp nails
into the tender flesh of my palm,
keeping the demon within.
This is what it feels like
to share your skin.

Let me let go,
I want to keep my control
I don't want this to run my life,
I can't escape the demon within my veins.
It's so black,
So sick,
So dead,
I wish that I could shed my skin

These are the words of the demon inside,
claws grasping, tearing up my throat,
intercepting the words I spoke,
the gutteral sounds of dying within,
this is what it's like to share your skin

You are within me
a part of me
I share my skin
with the demon within
I lose all control,
I can't let it go,
I'm not gonna go down
While i'm sharing my skin.

You're eating away at me
beneath my flesh
I don't know how long it will be
'till I can't hold on
I don't want this curse,
no not any longer,
I need to be free,
but I'm not match for your hunger

You want me,
inside and out
Your darkness consumes me
as you share my skin

I am actually using this in my story that i mentioned


I will bend but I won't break
I will bend but I won't break
I will bend but I won't break


You can bend me back
As far as I can go,
But i'm not gonna stop fighting
'Till I see some blood spilled,
It's a dark road to walk alone
 
I will bend, but I'll never break,
not while you're watching
You can't have that control,
You'll never see me cry
Until you're already broken.
 
I'm all wrapped up
in ropes tied too tight to unwind,
But i'm not gonna let go,
I'm not going to scream your name
until you've screamed mine
 
I will bend, but I'll never break,

not while you're watching
You can't have that control,
You'll never see me cry
Until you're already broken

You can give me that look,
beaut me down like the animal I am
You want me to scream in ecstasy of you
But I'd cut out my throat so
I don't scream before you

I will bend, but I'll never break,

not while you're watching
You can't have that control,
You'll never see me cry
Until you're already broken


I will bend but I won't break

I will bend but I won't break
I will bend but I won't break

You take the sand paper,
slowly, methodically
scrubbing against the wood.
Stripping away the imperfection.

It's how I feel when I'm around you
so open,
so exposed,
so amazed.

You take me,
so imperfect,
strip away everthing that is wrong,
and you repaint me

the long brush strokes
over sanded smooth wood,
creating a new coat
one that can't be worn down

Remember those days,
when all we did was relax,
sitting on the deck,
iced tea in one hand.
Conversation would flow,
and the day would go by
like american honey.
I so wanted to escape those summer days.

But one day,
when those days slip away,
you miss the sweetness,
those american honey days.
I wish I could have those days back,
now it seems everything's moving
at lightning speed.
Those slow, lazy days
the ones I enjoyed
appreciated.

I got out of there
as fast as I could
when I got the chance...
and at the time I didn't miss it,
sadly,
I'm no longer a kid anymore
but a woman.
And I can't help but to think back
on those american honey days.

I need you now.
I'd rather not let you go
I get so attatched
so easily,
just thought you should know,
please don't go

You heal,
you break,
You're the architect,
I'm the mistake.
It's like our jenga-block chaos
will come crashing down
around us.
It's some chaos,
Some confusion
It's all or nothing,
Babe, it's me and you

To rip your name off of my heart
would be like ripping a bandaid off my arm.
I used to constantly protect,
but you constantly made me know.
I thought I could trust ou with my heart,
but I should've known
that I can't let go, because everyone always betrays.
It's like love is a lost cause,
because somehow I always end up crying myself to sleep
and I guess trusting you was my mistake,
because I thought wrong.
I thought we had our moments,
but they were lies, fake.
I shouldn't even trust myself,
you said no, and look how much I lost.
I just wish this could work,
that we could be together,
because I'm so sick of shedding tears
over your stupid mistakes
your mixed signals.
When I let you know, I was giving you my heart,
but I guess this princess has yet to find her frog.